Thursday - time for something completely different:

This just in from a source even more credible than either the Weekly World News or Fox News, The Borowitz Report. Eat you heart out, Bill O’Reilly.

U.S. LIST OF POSSIBLE TERROR PLOTS “NOT DETAILED ENOUGH,” COMPLAINS BIN LADEN: Rips ‘Shoddy’ List on Al-Jazeera
Thursday, March 17, 2005

Hours after a Homeland Security Dept. list of ideas for terror attacks against the U.S. appeared on several public websites, al-Qaeda terror kingpin Osama bin Laden took to the airwaves to blast the list for being “not detailed enough.”

Appearing on the Arabic-language Al-Jazeera network, a visibly angry Mr. bin Laden held up a copy of the list of terror attacks and said, “You call this a terror attack list? I could do a better terror attack list in my freaking sleep.”

Mr. bin Laden said that the government’s suggestion that terrorists try to spread pneumonic plague in public bathrooms was “less than helpful,” adding, “It doesn’t even say where I’m supposed to get the pneumonic plague in the first place.”

Ditto, the madman said, for the government’s suggestion of blowing up chlorine storage tanks: “It would have been kind of nice to know where those tanks are, guys – ever hear of Mapquest?”

Speaking from his home, former Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge defended the quality of his department’s work: “It may not meet Mr. Osama bin Laden’s high standards, but we worked darn hard on that list.”

For his part, Mr. bin Laden called the list “shoddy,” adding, “Right now, this thing reads like my wish-list at Amazon.”

Elsewhere, moments after President Bush nominated him to head up the World Bank, Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz accused the International Monetary Fund of possessing weapons of mass destruction and said he would lead a coalition of other banks to invade it.

Yup, some days it’s almost not worth getting out of bed - I mean, jeez, you can’t please anyone. Holy crap!