And now for something entirely different:

I really do love Dave Barry - in a platonic and manly way, mind you! Here’s his annual review of the most important happenings of the past year:

2004 The politics, the passion, and Paris
By Dave Barry, December 26, 2004, The Miami Herald
Looking back on 2004, we have to conclude that it could have been worse.

''HOW??'' you ask, spitting out your coffee.

Well, OK, a giant asteroid could have smashed into the Earth and destroyed all human life except Paris Hilton and William Hung. Or Florida could have been hit by 20 hurricanes, instead of just 17.

Or the Yankees could have won the World Series.

But no question, 2004 was bad. Consider:

• We somehow managed to hold a presidential election campaign that for several months was devoted almost entirely to the burning issue of: Vietnam.

• Our Iraq policy, despite being discussed, debated and agreed upon right up to the very highest levels of the White House, did not always seem to be wildly popular over there in Iraq.

• Osama bin Laden remained at large for yet another year (although we did manage, at long last, to put Martha Stewart behind bars).

• As a nation, we managed somehow to get even fatter, despite the fact that anti-carbohydrate mania worsened to the point where the average American would rather shoot heroin than eat a bagel.

• Perhaps most alarming of all, Cher yet again extended her ''farewell'' tour, which began during the Jimmy Carter administration and is now expected to continue until the sun goes out.

Dave continues at length here. Hie thyself off to read it. It’s a hoot!

Here’s an excerpt from September’s news “review:”

“Florida's weather woes worsen as the Sunshine State is battered on consecutive days by hurricanes Irving, Jonetta, Karl, Louanne, Myron, Naomi, Orville, Peg, and Quentin. When it is finally all over, many Florida residents are completely hairless, and shards of Walt Disney World are coming down as far away as Montana. The federal government, reacting quickly, sends a third sheet of plywood to Florida, and promises that a fourth will be on the way ''soon.''

“In politics, the month begins with the Republican Convention and Mass Arrest still going on in New York City. The GOP delegates, confounding exit pollsters, nominate George W. Bush, who promises that, if re-elected, he will ''continue doing whatever it says here on the TelePrompTer.''

I really do love this guy! Here’s the link again: Dave!